Difference in Terms

Training, coaching, mentoring, and discipling are often used interchangeably since all pertain to one person using their knowledge, skills, abilities, experience, and time to develop another. To some degree, using these words interchangeably is understandable and acceptable. Like tools in a toolbox, their functions can be similar and are often complimentary. Nevertheless, in addition to acknowledging their similarities, it is equally important to understand their differences.

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A trainer is typically skill-oriented. Trainers have the specific role of teaching their students the knowledge necessary to perform a skill. In this regard, trainers must have expert knowledge in the skill or skills they are aiming to train. After teaching their students a skill, trainers must design and provide opportunities for their students to practice their new skill, recognize when to use their new skill, and assess whether or not they applied their new skill effectively. Training is expertise-oriented, but not necessarily relationship-oriented. It ultimately is up to the trainer and student to determine how deep of a relationship to form and whether or not a deeper relationship is conducive to learning the skills they are aiming to develop. 

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A coach is typically performance and goal-oriented. A coach helps the student to identify specific objectives in their faith journey and develop strategies to achieve them. A student-coach relationship is typically time-bound and structured around particular outcomes or goals. The coach is focused on unlocking the student’s potential and helping them find answers. In this regard, a coach oftentimes relies on asking powerful questions rather than giving answers. 

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A mentor is typically relationship and experience-oriented. A mentor shares from their own life and wisdom to help guide the mentee’s development. The mentor is typically less time-bound and goal-oriented than the coach. Oftentimes, the relationship between the mentor and mentee can last decades and endure many different stages of life and job changes. The relationship between a mentor and mentee is frequently informal and may be as simple as a more experienced believer walking alongside someone less experienced. During this journey, the mentor aids in the mentee’s development by sharing personal stories, failures, and sharing advice and perspective from their own journey. Because their partnership is focused on relationship and experience, it is not uncommon for bi-directional learning to take place in a mentor-mentee relationship, meaning the mentor grows too. 

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A discipler is typically spiritual formation and transformation-oriented. Rooted in Jesus's Great Commission, discipleship focuses on spiritual transformation and reproducing faith. In the Christian context, the goal of every discipling relationship is to be like Christ. In this regard the scope of discipleship can appear to be boundless – as long as being Christ-like is the outcome. It involves the intentional teaching of scripture, spiritual practices, and character formation. It also allows for accountability and correction as needed and typically involves modeling life together. Finally, discipleship often involves an expectation that disciples will disciple others. In this regard, disciples are expected to be forming Christ in themselves as they simultaneously teach others to do the same.  

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Summary

During the course of CSOL, you may find that your coach chooses to wear many hats while helping you to develop. This is normal and reasonable. Afterall, while a hammer’s primary purpose may be to drive in a nail, a skilled carpenter may also use it for many other creative and ingenious purposes. Nevertheless, the skilled carpenter must know the primary purpose of the tool, as well as know when the use of another tool will likely produce a better outcome. Trainers teach their students specific skills to address specific needs or opportunities. Coaches draw out what is within their students to help the student achieve specific goals. Mentors share from their own life and experience to help guide the development of their student over time. Disciplers follow Christ, and as a result teach and model Christ-likeness in order to produce other disciples of Christ. While in CSOL, you will have a coach. Nevertheless, each relationship is dynamic. Do not be surprised if your coach occasionally takes on some of the attributes typically more fitting of a trainer, mentor, or discipler. Coaches and students must do their best to have transparent conversations in which the relationship expectations are explored and understood by both parties. As the relationship forms, be patient with one another and allow room for the Holy Spirit to work, trusting that “God works for the good of those who love him.” (Romans 8:28, NIV)